”Life will teach you. You can’t say ‘no’ to life; life is the best teacher.”
-Mom
Overview
It’s been two weeks past my usual update about the ongoings of my Project Attraction. Due to unexpected circumstances (life), I was unable to focus solely executing challenge as well as I would like. However, even though a few weeks have passed, the growth continued. I think subconsciously I have begun to internalize the process I have been practicing during this challenge.
Honestly, this month has been significantly different from last month. All cards on the table, I don’t go out as much this month but, I do feel like I take better care of myself and have a stronger sense of what it means to attract.
Now, I finally feel like I have reached my own conclusion on attraction and what it means to me. So, today, I thought I’d recount my original thoughts on attraction and how it has changed during this challenge.
[Btw, here’s some pictures of how I spent last weekend when I went back to Gwangju to enjoy time with my friends.]
Initial Thoughts:
Now let’s delve into my initial thoughts on attraction….
In the beginning, I placed a lot of emphasis on the results of attraction- what I wanted to see, and what I wanted to get from it. I wanted someone to see the beauty in me and be drawn to it. Someone to validate a feeling that I thought I was missing.
Looking back now, I realize that I only saw one side of attraction. As time goes on I’m beginning to realize attraction is much deeper than that. I mean, I still desire to have the results of attraction….who doesn’t? But I can honestly say, before I couldn’t comprehend the full scope of attraction and how it works.
Realization:
Before I continue, let me preface by saying, what I discovered is not ground-breaking news, but old news that I needed to discover for myself.
But hey, that’s what life is about, isn’t?
Anyhoo, I am realizing that beauty can only fully shine after I recognize and accept it. The people around me saw my potential and told me about it, but because I failed for see it for myself, I couldn’t unlock my inner charm.
I’m starting to truly understand the difference between mental connection and growth and transformative connection and growth.
[Okay imagine we were having this conversation in person and I pointed to my head when I stated “mental connection” and then pointed to my heart when I stated “transformative connection”. I think that would get the point across a lot better. 😅😂]
What I’m understanding about human existence is that a head knowledge of ourselves, life, and others, while important, is not the thing that makes a difference in our lives. We must understand things from our hearts – experience things for ourselves.
A Classic Example
A classic example of this –
When you were younger, you watched your mother cook on the stove. Naturally, you became curious about the contraption and how she used it and may even want to touch it for yourself. So, you attempted to touch it. Your mother probably slapped your hand away with the warning, “Don’t touch the stove, it’s hot!”
Mental Connection! In that moment, you made the mental connection that you shouldn’t touch the stove because it’s hot.
However, maybe some of you didn’t listen to your mother and wanted to check it out for yourself and ended up touching the stove. The moment you put your hand on that granite stove top and felt it burn your fingers, you may have pulled away with a cry of dismay realizing that it was indeed hot.
Transformative Connection! Now you know for yourself, what happens when you touch the stove. You’ve made a personal connection that you will never forget and you recognize the value behind your mother’s advice. The transformative connection is made because now when you look at the stove, you know for a fact it can be hot and you won’t touch it so carelessly next time.
Making the Connection:
Growing up, I heard all the time “Life will teach you. You can’t say no to life, it’s the best teacher;” or “You need experience to grow.”
No lie, I resented those words.
I didn’t like the idea that I had to experience things firsthand, preferring to observe and learn from others’ mistakes. This resulted in me working so hard to not “mess up”. I was terrified of failing in life.
However, this challenge allowed me to understand the value of experiencing things for myself. I never truly understood the difference between living life and experiencing life. Somehow, this challenge allowed me to be intentional about my actions and thoughts. The inner belief that sprouted from insecurities and had taken over my subconscious is slowly eradicating. I’m finally starting to catch a glimpse of what others saw in me long ago.
Conclusion:
Inner beauty and outer beauty work together to attract the right people to us. I believe both are important and both play a part in the process of attraction. For me, I struggled with accepting the scope of my beauty because I only understood it mentally. I didn’t comprehend at the time just how much self-acceptance would allow me to let the most beautiful parts of me shine through and bring others to me.
In a previous post, I share the initial reason why my friend to give me this challenge – to build confidence. Back then I was less than pleased with her reason, but seeing how things have turned out, I think her reason for it was insightful and necessary.
What I understand now is confidence isn’t merely a feeling; it’s an innate understanding of one’s worth and an unwavering acceptance of nothing less, regardless of my emotional state.
I believe this will bring the attraction I truly desire my way.
But I still got two weeks left of this challenge so I guess we will see what happens…
Until next time,
✌️
Disclaimer: I want to be clear - experience does lead to transformative action, but I don’t think that everything facet in life needs to be experienced to grow. I do think you can learn from others mistakes and you should. It helps you avoid an otherwise difficult life. As my momma says, “He who don’t listen, feel.” Balance is crucial, guys.
