“You close yourself off from any possibilities because of your mindset.”
– Challenger
Overview:
Wow, we’ve finally reached the one month mark of the Project Attraction challenge. I can’t believe it!
I feel as if so much happened this past month.
[Well, internally… not much has happened in the romance department. I am happy(?), sad(?), ehh, neutral to annouce that I am still single.]
However, dear friend, besides my relationship status, a few things have changed.
In The Beginning
Look, I won’t lie, I was less than enthusiastic about this challenge in the beginning. In fact, I orginally started it to prove my challenger wrong. I wanted to prove that there was nothing I could do about the current romantic situation I find myself in. I resented the notion that I was the reason I was still single.
“Closed off.” That’s what she had told me. “You close yourself off from any possibilities because of your mindset.”
After hearing that, the protestor in me, raised it’s nosey little head put me into this contractual challenge to prove my “innocence” regarding the status of my relationship.
Alllright, I know I sound a bit defensive regarding the start of the challenge, but truth is, it was all done in good fun. Though I hate to admit it, part of me was curious if she was right. So, here we are, one month later in the thick of her challenge.
And I’ve learned so much about myself.
Changes & Growth
A few things has happened in the duration of a month to help my outlook on this challenge to change.
Personal Outlook At The Start
If I’m completely honest, at the beginning of this challenge, at the beginning of the year really, I felt as if an oppressive weight was resting on my shoulders. The drudgery of life had taken it’s toll and for the most part, I found myself brooding- about everything. Not my finest hour, truthfully.
Always doom and gloom.
My pessimesstic outlook made me feel as if there was no point of trying or doing anything. I hated how down I was about life but didn’t know what to do about it.
Then this challenge came.
I treated it as a chore at first. A chore that came with an allowance.
I may not have liked the work, but I was no fool to the potential benefits.
[I know that one of the rules is to have a postive outlook, but it’s not easy to snap out of a negative mindset ..]
But, I’m really good at following instructions. So, I did it….out of obligation, but I did it. 🤷♀️
Personal Outlook Now
Eventually as the challenge went on, things got easier. I found myself looking forward to getting out of the house, doing my makeup, and putting on a cute outfit. I would even catch myself smiling to my reflection when I brushed my teeth at night or got ready in the morning! It was like I finally had begun to truly enjoy being me.
The stress of life is still there, but somehow, it doesn’t feel as life-crushing anymore. It’s bearable and I hope that things will only get better in the future.
Explorative
I find myself becoming a bit more explorative. Before, I used to leave my house and go to the same places all the time.
[What? I like consistency ….sue me! ]
But now, I find myself looking for new spots to chill at even if it’s just to read a book at a cafe. Intentionally going to new places isn’t my forte, but now, there isn’t as much discomfort walking into an unfamiliar place. I’m even doing my best to not immediately run away from crowded places!
[….I mean, I still hate them, but hey, at least these days I don’t just turn around and go the other way.]
I even got to stumble on this busking session because of my new adventurous side. 😌
Anticipations and Expectations
I suppose with the changes I’ve experinced so far, I feel quite positive as I face the last month of the challenge. Hopefully, in the following month my self-confidence will continue to grow. In addition to that, I wouldn’t mind if I become more adventurous at the end of this journey.
Even if I don’t fall into the arms of my potentional husband at the end of all this, I think what I have learned and will learn about myself will be worth everything.
Now, I know that I probably can’t attribute all my growth to this challenge, but I will give it credit for igniting a spark in me. My attachment style even changed! 🤯
Was it due to this challenge? Who knows. But, I can honestly say good things have happened since the beginning of January and I hope and pray that next month will yeild even better results.
Until next time,
Wish me luck! ✌️
